When someone you love is experiencing violence, it is natural to feel worried, angry, or unsure what to do. Your support can matter more than you think. Here is how to help in a way that keeps them safe and in control.
1. Listen without judgment
Let them share at their own pace. You do not need to have all the answers. Simply listening and believing them is a powerful first step.
2. Say the words that help
Phrases like “I believe you,” “This is not your fault,” and “I’m here for you” can make a real difference. Avoid asking “Why don’t you just leave?” because it can feel like blame.
3. Let them lead
Survivors know their situation best. Offer options, not orders. Respect their decisions, even when they are not the ones you would make.
4. Help with safety planning
Ask how you can help them stay safer. This might include keeping a spare set of important documents, agreeing on a code word, or being a safe contact. Remember that abusers may monitor phones and accounts, so be careful how you communicate.
5. Share resources, not pressure
Let them know that confidential help exists. Our survivor-led support groups offer a safe, judgment-free space to heal and connect with others.
6. Take care of yourself too
Supporting someone through trauma can be draining. Lean on trusted people and set healthy boundaries so you can keep showing up.
You do not have to do it alone
If you have questions about how to support someone, contact our team. We are here to help.
If someone is in immediate danger, contact local emergency services.